Parenting mistakes lead to tumultuous teenage years
The impact of parenting mistakes becomes particularly pronounced during adolescence, leading to significant challenges.
Psychiatrist Professor Dr. Nevzat Tarhan underscored this issue, emphasizing that broken or conflict-ridden families often raise children who struggle more during their teenage years. Regarding the recent events involving Deniz Akkaya and her daughter, Professor Dr. Tarhan commented: “Adolescents engaging in abusive behavior can put parents in difficult situations.”
Recent incidents between former model Deniz Akkaya and her 16-year-old daughter have sparked widespread discussion on social media.
The events, which revolved around violence between mother and daughter, prompted Akkaya to file a police complaint. The Ministry of Family and Social Services intervened, placing Akkaya’s daughter under protection, generating divided opinions among social media users.
While some support Akkaya’s actions, others place blame on the former model.
This specific incident has brought attention to the current dynamics of adolescent behavior and raised questions about the positive or negative impact of parenting practices.
Professor Dr. Nevzat Tarhan highlighted that, because of parenting mistakes, children have assumed the role of “bosses” within families today.
“One of the most significant issues in contemporary families is adolescents harassing their parents. Abusive adolescents create challenging situations for parents,” he stated.
The psychiatrist also highlighted some other key points that can contribute to healthy parenting
Issue of broken families
According to health professionals, children and adolescents abuse their parents, which is most common in families with broken homes, single parents, or conflict-ridden communication.
Frequently, the father figure is absent, leaving the mother to assume both parental roles or conflicting parental ideologies hinder the establishment of clear rules for the child. In either scenario, two to three individuals raise the children, providing them lenient discipline and affection.
This relaxed approach to discipline often results in children assuming leadership roles within their households during adolescence, effectively becoming the de facto heads of their families.
Pitfalls of over-parenting
During adolescence, emotions often override reason. Having been accustomed to having their every desire fulfilled, teenagers tend to push boundaries, viewing their parents as a source of endless provisions to be obtained at will.
This behavior, known as over-parenting, transforms simple toy requests into demanding desires for larger possessions, such as real cars. When their wishes are not met, adolescents may even resort to questioning their existence with inquiries like “Why did you give birth to me?” or “Why didn’t you abort me?”
Transition from patriarchal to child-centric families
Children in households lacking clear rules struggle to understand their boundaries and easily assume leadership roles. Parents find it challenging to assert authority and say no. We have witnessed a shift from patriarchal to child-centric family structures.
It is imperative to maintain firmness, consistency and discipline when dealing with children. Discipline and guidance are akin to snow; when applied consistently, they adhere. Some parents shower their children with affection in the morning, only to criticize and question their existence in the afternoon.
Misconceptions surrounding happiness
Parenthood entails preparing children for life rather than ensuring their perpetual happiness. Our concept of happiness is flawed, often focusing on instant gratification.
We neglect to consider what will bring long-term happiness, prioritizing immediate contentment instead. While parents often strive to keep their children happy in the moment, it is essential to raise them with an emphasis on medium- to long-term fulfillment, stressing that happiness requires effort.
Impact of broken families on children’s social media use
Children from broken families significantly feel the impact of social media. Social media has less influence in structured home environments where parents assert control and leadership. However, children often turn to social media for stress relief and relaxation without a nurturing and secure home.
While children typically look up to their families until around age ten, their friends become increasingly influential afterward. Without a sense of belonging to a trusted family unit, children become more vulnerable to the negative influence of social media, exacerbating their situation.
Avoiding fulfillment of every child’s demand
Indulging every demand and micromanaging every aspect of a child’s life fosters a self-centered and egotistical upbringing. As children develop a strong sense of autonomy, they begin to challenge parental authority in adolescence. This conflict strains the parent-child relationship, impacting various aspects of their lives.
Therefore, positive communication is crucial in such situations. Parents should guide their children as mentors rather than dictators, steering them in the right direction.
Navigating through difficult adolescence
Adolescence is often likened to a turbulent period in literature. If an adolescent exhibits behaviors typical of someone much older, it may indicate underlying mental health issues. It’s natural for adolescents to make mistakes, and parents should correct them with compassion.
Even the most challenging adolescents can be guided toward positive outcomes, although parents often seek instant solutions. While challenging, it’s not impossible.
Difficult adolescents have the potential to become successful individuals in the future. Viewing tumultuous adolescence not as a threat but as a plea for assistance is essential.
With appropriate support during this critical period, adolescents can develop stronger bonds with their parents as they mature.
